Stuff on My Mind

I like reading others blogs and I think of things I would say in response to them but end up seeing others already said what I was thinking. So half the time I never do get to post. Plus work and home always seem to consume all my time that it is hard for me to get onto the internet sometimes.

I must say I have been drawn towards a few people's blogs that I must check on often! And this particular one I have always checked on before her tragedy happened. Jess is a member to a mommy board that I belong to (and read mostly) and I started out following her blog and she would comment on her wonderful sister, Rachael, and family, so I started reading her blog too. I was in such shock myself when I signed on and read Rachael's blog that tragic day! I wanted so much to tell her I was thinking of her and her family, but she was already getting so much response back from people WORLD WIDE that I never posted anything to her. I new she didn't know me and I almost felt like it wasn't right for me to post. I know sounds silly. I do think of her often!! My heart aches for her and her family. I had lost my cousin at a young age. I was 10 yrs old when my cousin Kristy died at age 9. I remember to this day, 19 yrs later, that awful day! She was ill with what everyone thought was the common cold. Well she woke up in the middle of the night and thought she had to throw up and her daddy held her in his arms comforting her and she just rolled her eyes back and her head and body went limp and that was it. She died in his arms! What ever illness she had affected her heart and her heart swelled and just stopped beating. I remember being told this and not fully understanding what my parents were saying. I new what they said but it was like my mind didn't want to process it correctly. I know it truly didn't hit me until I seen her at the funeral home in the casket. That is when it truly hit me as to she is never coming back! I will never get to play with her or have sleepovers anymore! or get to see her at all of our family get-to-gether's like x-mas or thanksgiving or birthday party's! My family is very big at getting together for everything! (My husband sometimes gets annoyed with how much we get together)

I guess I mostly just wanted Rachael to know I am thinking of her and her family and how much I felt like I really "new" her and her daughters by the wonderful way she would write about them! I love reading about Jess and her family and Rachael and her family! And wanted to Thank Jess for "introducing" me to her and Rachael's family! Even if she didn't realize she had!